Homeschooling Report #10

Here's the first homeschooling report for this school year. We experimented with moving away from straight unschooling to an eclectic homeschooling approach, with a few minutes of schooly book work when the energy in the house is stressful and frantic, and when we want to encourage some directed, focused energy.

Emma would be in grade one, and we have various grade 1 level workbooks around, she enjoys working on addition and subtraction problems. We got her a money related board game that came with a calculator, and she was very excited to show me different addition formulas on it., she treated the calculations like they were magical formulas!

She's learning a little about telling time on a clock, how many minutes in an hour, seconds in a minute etc.

Her reading is going well too, she's not hugely into reading though, she won't sit and read books on her own but she doesn't mind reading some short books to me or her sister sometimes. When I'm reading chapter books to her she points out words she knows.

We're always doing weird science stuff in this house, but most interestingly we had sardines for dinner one night and as I was gutting them Emma and I began searching for the different body parts. We found hearts, stomachs, intestines, gills, eyeballs, and the brain. The brain was most difficult to get, it was quite well protected by the fish's skull bones.
We recently got a globe and we're looking up places we're talking about regularly now, it's nice to have. We've also been repeatedly doing a floor puzzle of Canada and the provinces.

Emma is taking violin lessons and LOVES it, seems to be doing very well. Emil and I have both jammed with her, he on piano, me on accordion, and she is one happy little girl when we do this with her.

Emma's current obsession, she tends to have one at a time that she's intense about, is horses. Soon she'll be starting riding lessons. There is lots of reading required at the stable she'll be riding it, there's a chart on the wall that shows which kid is riding which horse, which saddle/etc goes with that horse. She's so very excited about this opportunity and I can't wait either.

Moving Away from Unschooling

I'm changing my description of how we practice homeschooling from unschooling to eclectic homeschooling, though I believe unschooling ideology positively impacted how we see education and home learning. The more I apply the concepts of radical unschooling to our lives in a general sense, the more I enjoy parenting, though with the ages my kids are and where we are in life at this time, I'm finding that the occasional use of "school work" as a tool is sensible at this time.

For the most part, if there's self directed learning going on, we won't interfere or try and turn it into learning opportunities, we see and understand the value in children having freedom to explore, think, scheme, create, invent etc and our kids having the majority of their time to do these things when and as they wish will continue. I fully believe that people of all ages learn optimally when they are passionate about their subject and efforts, these ideals are not up for question in my mind.

However, my oldest is a really active and challenging kid who, when bored, will spend her excess energy tormenting her sister, and I've found that traditional schooly desk work is the perfect behavior management tool. She enjoys it, she's good at it, it calms her down, it helps her focus, it gives us both something to refocus on instead of big frustrated feelings, and it's an easy solution. Solution for me, her, and the sister, and the baby brother too, and even the dog, who trembles when the sisters shriek and fight too much. I don't see any downsides to it, except that it isn't unschooling.

I know many of you unschooly readers might be shaking your heads, I know lots of other families have an easier time juggling three kids 6 and under and keeping things fun all the time, so in some of your eyes, I've failed. And that's alright with me, because I'm not interested in fitting into a label. Learning and finding the different flavors and edges of unschooling has had a most wonderfully freeing impact on our parenting and educating approach, but now, moving onto the eclectic description is pretty danged freeing too.

I still get lots of great ideas of the unschooling mailing lists I follow, and who knows, I may change back our description again sometime. Meanwhile, homeschooling reports will no longer be 100% unschooly, they will be eclectic, at least for this next few months. My kids are 6, 3 and 16 months, and at this season, moments of order and harmony are what I need to enjoy parenting, though I suspect that once my kids are older and there aren't so many bums to wipe and as much crying and screaming and tantruming that I won't need such tools in the same way and that pure unschooling with three kids so close in age might get easier.

What has really changed? When one is interfering with the other and my attempts at redirecting them away from each other aren't working and the fighting and noise won't stop and I'm on the verge of getting overwhelmed by the noise and I feel anger growing, I sit one or two of them at the table and give them something to do, for 15 minutes, sometimes the oldest wants to go on longer, often not. Schoolwork type books are easiest and my oldest seems to enjoy them once she focuses on them, and from there she's calmer, I'm calmer, the house is calmer and this benefits us all. We're still unschooling 99% of the time, but we'll call ourselves "eclectic" now.

The Intimacy of Making Music

Until recently, I had no idea that creating music with others could be intensely intimate, but I've been surprised to learn that it is very much so, in a sensual and profound way.

I've been a passionate, avid listener of music since puberty hit. I've worked in record stores, been a fairly successful DJ, and worked a few other angles of the music business from the angle of the music listener. I know the emotional charges that can come with listening, the physical rushes that come with a moment of musical perfection, when the body almost vibrates in harmony with a beloved song.

It's been only recently that with any seriousness I've hopped the fence into the music making side. In the past few months I've been really learning how to play the accordion, practicing for an average of an hour a day, taking some classes, learning fairly complex songs and learning as much as I can from other accordion players.

Then I hopped over another fence, to playing with other people, mostly a wonderful friend of mine. She, like I, is just learning how to play, in her case mostly guitar and some mandolin. She is just finding her singing voice, me, I used to have one but lost it years ago and so I am working on finding it again. We are working on a few songs together, three covers of other people's tunes, and three originals of our own.

What has blown me away about this experience is the array of sensations that I've discovered while making music with my friend, it's almost like the intimacy of falling in love almost on the edge of sexual because it involves sharing nonverbal sensory experiences, getting past shyness and self consciousness, feeling naked and vulnerable, yet exhilarated and connected. There's also some longing, when we haven't played for a few days, we both miss it and yearn for it, and feel there is this pull between us that makes an extended absence uncomfortable. It's kinda cool to feel these things without being in any way unfaithful to my husband!

I've heard now, from a few seasoned musicians, that often a new musicians' very first songs are the best ones they'll ever write, or a new band's first songs. I think it has something to do with this sensual essence of falling into music making love, where some sort of magic happens, similar to the chemistry of couples newly in love.

I wonder if any of my readers have experienced what I'm talking about. I wonder if thrash and punk rock musicians have felt this as intensely as say, ballad writing duets do. My guess is that they probably do, having known a few punk and thrash musicians, they definitely have a certain tightness to their friendship that goes deeper than typical coworkers at the office.

The power of music is something I've long enjoyed as a listener, but the power of creating music with others is a new phenomena to me. Yet it's nothing new to the old traditional cultures of the earth, and nothing new to the extreme religious movements that ban music making within their reach. There is something raw and real that is in the vein of passion, love, and oblivion to be found in making music, and I can see why certain religious branches would find it threatening. I now understand why so many people make music and come together to make music, this range of sensations and feelings my friend and I are discovering as we learn to play music together is far more incredible than either of us realized it could be.

Change Starts With...a Girl?

Please please PLEASE check this out if you care about the grim reality many little girls are born into in various impoverished parts of the world. There's so much hope in this idea, pass it on!

We don't have squirrels on this island

But we have a heck of a lot of these, I just took a picture of this fawn minutes ago as it passed by the window, the Mama was camera shy. They are very sweet, and so abundant here without any natural predators that they're fairly fearless around people. Many folks feed them pieces of carrots and apples, and well, they are as close as we're going to get to squirrels.

Birth Control Decisions, Vasectomy

I love being pregnant, I love giving birth when I'm in a safe space with kind women around me, and I love newborn infants more than any other people in the world. Having said all this, my husband and I are pretty sure we're done. We've got three beautiful kids, our lives are very busy and often challening with what we've got, we miss each other very much, and we don't want to be too old as our children grow up. Somedays I think that I could go for one more, on other days I am excited about moving on to the next chapter of family life.

There's lots of birth control options we're discussing, the vasectomy has it's appeal for a number of reasons. It's permanent, which means we wouldn't have to worry about birth control anymore. This permanence would also help me close this baby making chapter for good, I'm sure I'll grieve some because I love making, having and falling in love with babies, but if it's permanent then I can move on without much indecisive flip floppage.

We have our teenage godson living with us, yesterday I was showing my husband a vasectomy video online, godson joined him on the couch to watch. These photos crack me up, they sat there huddled together, cringing. It is a pretty gnarly thing to watch.

Watching that video is kinda off putting though. Any of you out there, or your husbands get a vasectomy? How'd it go?

weeds

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read about plants, it really touched me where I live:

Weeds serve as an icon to outcasts and misfits, representing the outlaw nature of all things strong, wild and hellbent on not only surviving, but
proliferating. If we cannot find it in our hearts to love them we can at least step back and respect their tenacity and intelligence as inspiration in our own species’ quest to adapt and thrive. - Kiva Rose from her article "The Nettle Seed
Rebellion Outlaw Plants and Their Progeny"

Her site is worth a visit if you have any interest in plant medicines and herbs

Iranian-American musicians, artists, and filmmakers united in keeping the struggle for freedom alive.

Please watch this and listen, it's gorgeous musically, and it captures something special about the hearts of those who believe in a changed Iran via protest.

Freedom, Glory, Be Our Name” is dedicated to the people of Iran and the citizens of the world who stand with them.

On Aging

I have never been afraid of getting old, or looking old. I'm afraid of dying young so that I don't have a chance to get old. I've imagined myself as an old lady who has beautiful herb and flower gardens, old books, goats and chickens and herbal tinctures. In my image of myself as an old crone, or baba yaga, my eyes twinkle with wisdom and kindness, I am strong and a keeper of worldly secrets.


I imagine myself as a grandmother too, I am sure that if I am healthy enough to live to see this phase of life that it will be an incredible joy. Somewhere, I read a quote that went sorta something like "the older we get, the more precious life becomes" and I hope that instead of being cantankerous and riddled with angry dementia I appreciate life, and all of it's wonder.

This is what I want to be when I finally grow up. Alas, I have not always taken care of my health so well, I've drank too much, smoked too much, my respiratory system is not the strongest. I eat pretty healthy but there's room for some improvement. A fascinating part of Taoism for many of it's practitioners is an emphasis on longevity, an angle of Taoism I have yet to examine much but one that I will read more about soon. In the meantime, I am recently inspired to take better care of myself so that I have a better shot at growing up into the beautiful old baba yaga that I aspire to be.

I should be eating a simpler diet, much less sugar, doing Tai Chi at least once every day if not twice, slowing down and avoiding stress, drinking plenty of simple herbal teas, spending more time quietly meditating and going for regular walks through the forests and along the beaches, both abundant in this natural gem of a spot where we live. I believe the key to developing my own inner wisdom is to speak less and listen to the world more, and so practising conscious silence will result in the development of the kind of wisdom that I seek both inside myself, and out in this universe that we live in.

What about you, what kind of old person do you see yourself as, or are you like my husband, where you don't want to think about it, and find aging to be a dreadful human condition?

Here comes 3 again

Soon Sara will be three.

I'm no good at three.

Three was when I realized I am frequently impatient and an easily angered parent.
Three was when I learned that as much as I thought I was fine with my shitty ass childhood, as stoic as I was in my pride that I'd done so well for myself without any therapy, well, I learned that I have some work to do if I truly want to be "over it", in order to avoid passing on that garbage to my kids.

When Emma was little I thought I had it all dialed, two was a breeze, parenting was usually pretty easy and fun, and then...dun DUN DUN DUN...she turned three. We had Sara around then too so it was all extra crazy for Emma then, but I also learned that this preschool thing brings out my own crazy. I am not past all the crazy shit I experienced as a kid, it is triggered multiple times a day when parenting three year olds.

When Sara was born, I got to appreciate the joy of mothering a newborn again, and I loved her instantly, however the innocence of the first time around parenting deal was long gone and the thought occurred to me that she would be three one day. That day is coming very soon, her birthday is in a few weeks and she's already acting 3, and the three business is going to grow, there's much more to come.

In Harville Hendrix's Giving The Love That Heals he talks about how parents get stuck when their children reach ages and stages where the parents were themselves emotionally crippled, or delayed as children. His entire approach to therapy is based on healing childhood hurts by moving through those phases, which to be honest, sounded pretty much like extremely uncomfortable psycho babble, despite the fact that I know there's some truth and wisdom to be found in these writings of his.

I'm sure 3 was rough for me. Apparently, my mother was pretty responsible and cared for me with great devotion until I was 2, and then she lost her grip and lost functionality as a parent, from then on I was passed around my family again and again over 11 times before I was 7. I'm not sure who I lived with, or where when I was 3. I am sure that it was a wacked time and that my living situation was disruptive and unstable, most likely I was not living a settled and safe life.

I also know that 3 is difficult for many parents, regardless of what they lived through as children. The Mothering Gentle Discipline board is frequently littered with posts from frazzled mothers of 3 yr olds, mothers who want to parent gently, peacefully, un-coercively within varying degrees, yet they really hit a brick wall at this stage with their children. Is it possible that children who are parented in an AP type way might need to work harder to separate themselves from their mothers, to sever their emotional dependence in order to grow into their own independence? There's some of my own psychobabble, and a theory I've thought up when I read Attachment Parenting type discipline conversations vs the more mainstream parenting boards where the parents seem to get into power struggles earlier with their children, and later, but not so much in the 3rd year.

Whatever the causes and reasons and various ways that parents deal with 3 year olds and 3 year olds deal with parents, I find it to be a challenging time and it's beginning again. I hope that I move through this age with more grace and patience than I did the last time, this is my important work in this season of parenting and personal growth. I get to have another go at this, my little teachers, my little treasures. I really want to do better this time.

A Year Ago

A year ago today, after a peaceful day and night of birthing, we got to meet this beautiful little boy.

A year later, he is one sweet adorable guy, he gives great hugs, his smiles are easy coming, his sisters can't help but love him.

He's pretty mellow, we have to work harder to get him to laugh then we did with the girls, but he doesn't freak out and cry so much either. He's just not a really emotionally reactive guy, he's got a calm, sweet disposition that makes parenting him a dream.

His favorite song is this version of Hava Nagila on accordion, and he likes to watch the sky for birds. He calls me mama, and he says mama when he wants more of something too.

Thank you, sweetness, precious boy, thank you for being my son. Thank you for making our world so incredible with your adorable antics. Thank you for this past year and for being you.

They are so BRAVE I could cry

I am so impressed with the bravery of the Iranian people. I've been following the #IranElection twitterings and I believe this is an amazing thing that is happening, some Iranians are learning that many people in the west care about them and that we are not the great Satan after all, this is amazing!

Now I read rumors that Hezbollah and Hamas members are working to suppress and oppress the Iranian protesters, which makes me wonder, which is stronger to these members, hatred towards the West and Israel, or love for their fellow Muslims? Do they notice how much support the American people, and the West in general, or offering up to these young Muslims in Iran? Is the government in Iran hiring foreigners to harm the youth of Iran?

And young Iranians, I hope you understand that a good many of the Americans supporting you online, on twitter, and throughout the world are Jewish.

May all of this somehow result in some overall change in the relations between all of these different perceptions within, and without and between the west and the middle east.

You Iranians putting yourselves out there in a situation that is sure to be dangerous and increasingly violent, you are so brave I could cry. You represent something amazing about humanity, optimism, hope, brightness, community and love. All my love from the Canadian West Coast.

Homeschooling Report #10 (final for the "kindergarten" year)

I got behind in writing reports, these have been busy times! Unschooling and starting up a family business are fairly compatible. These first two pictures show her helping the painting crew as we prepared to open.

These are just me elaborating on the school's homeschooling facilitator's "report card" elements. We've been unschooling all along, but we are registered with the school which financially benefits both us (budget for cool learning materials), and the school, part of this arrangement is that Julie, our facilitator, converts our reports on our kids into curriculum speak for the government.

Personal Planning
Emma has a vision where she's going to sell painted handmade origami tents in order to save enough money to buy a girl hamster so that she can breed hamsters to experience "pinkies". She gets into quite elaborate plans that involve months of time, she's been planning the gifts she wants to get Sara for her birthday for months now.


Activity / Wellness (health, fitness, sports and recreation, physical activities, gardening, nutrition)
Trail hikes through the woods
Her own little gardens
Regularly picks berries, tree fruits, herbs and greens from our gardens and trees, and is aware of numerous edible plants in the wild
Was very into skipping rope for half of the year
Beach exploration and glass/shell collecting


Communication and Languaging (reading, writing, speaking, listening, viewing)
taught herself to read this year
She has a surprising number of words she knows by sight now that she doesn't need to sound out, all the common ones like; the, was, to, it, she, mommy, daddy, dog, cat etc, I don't know how many but I'm going to guess it's about 50. She can write quite a few words by memory too.



Numeracy / Math / Logic and Analytical Thinking
She has over 60 my little ponies and keeps immaculate track of each one, notices if one is missing, knows all of their names and places within their communities. I'd say she has a very good understanding of numbers up to the number 60. With some slight hinting she can count to 100. I introduced long addition to her one day and she helped me solve 12+12 that way.

Science / Environment / Nature
has helped plant deer-proof flowers in the yard and veggies in a garden
enjoys caring for her pet hamster
Grew a mold farm with different kinds of mold on different kinds of food
Has a microscope and examines things regularly on it, makes slides
Catches, observes and learns about insects every time she goes outside
Finds nature objects regularly such as a deer spine, a dead bird, seaweed
Knows a decent number of edible wild plants
Likes to mix up various substances to create various concoctions
Went through a phase of being interested in molecules, learned that matter takes form as solids liquids and gasses, we did dances to demonstrate molecular motion slowing and speeding
Raised Triopes and sea monkeys(brine shrimp)
Learned about life cycles with regards to living and dying


Social Studies / Humanities / History
Understands that there are wars in some places, poor people in some places
Learned that first nations people lived here first, and some learning about how they lived by reading numerous native legends stories

Cultural Connections / Second Language
Emma was obsessed with a song called "Good Company" and listened to it endlessly on youtube. She listened to it in many different languages there as well, Hungarian, Hebrew, Spanish, Swedish, and her favorite was Finnish, she learned to sing some of it in Finnish as well.

Creativity / Artistic Expression and Appreciation
enjoys doing origami
continues to self teach herself piano and can play with two hands now
paints or draws prolifically every day
makes inventions out of things, combines found objects and attaches them to each other using elastics, glue, paper clips, safety pins
Has become passionate about customizing her ponies with markers, paint, glue and scissors

Tools for Living ("Livingry") / Technology / Economics (life skills, career awareness)
is quite good at navigating a variety of websites including youtube, the my little pony site, and a variety of other sites she frequents.
has learned about veterinary medicine by taking a sick dog for veterinary care, and having an ill rat put down.
Makes her own food on a regular basis
Has learned immensely about what it takes to start a business as we've launched two recently. She's been part of the process the entire time, whether it was helping to paint it, observing us plan the cafe menu, learning to behave differently here for the benefit of customers and much much more.

Philosophy / Ethics / Personal
This has been a major year for social development for Emma. She really wants to be with her friends learning about socialization as much as possible, and I think she's developing her sense of philosophy/ethics/personal as she learns about who she is in relation to, and apart from others.

Well the school year is coming to an end. As unschoolers, our season of learning has no beginning and no end, and as much learning will happen in the summer as happens during the spring, fall and winter. Our reports will end for now, and resume in the Fall.